tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71277842979711204052024-03-14T00:25:21.818-07:00The Fake CP StylebookErie Beach Gordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04384834830656589864noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-41408607229611910632009-12-14T19:20:00.003-08:002009-12-14T19:20:57.822-08:00Stick with the classics<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Whenever stuck for a lede, try "They say…", "On the one hand…" or "(Blank) is the new (blank)." The classics never go out of style.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-9039314126580171252009-12-14T19:20:00.001-08:002009-12-14T19:20:16.696-08:00There's no I in computer<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Don't be afraid to throw in first-person pronouns and comments. It eases readers' fears that computers are cranking out the stories.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-32918329231057049302009-12-14T19:19:00.001-08:002009-12-14T19:19:56.833-08:00Give a brother an icon?<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Dear Santa: we would love to get rid of this generic Twitter icon. Can you help?</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-5619379544853841892009-12-13T07:07:00.002-08:002009-12-13T07:08:13.027-08:00No snow until winter<span class="status-body"><span class="actions"></span><span class="entry-content">In early weather stories, always mention how many days away winter is. It reminds Mother Nature about what is acceptable in each season</span> </span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-45169987819063338142009-12-13T07:07:00.001-08:002009-12-13T07:07:43.483-08:00God love the Liberals<span class="status-body"><span class="actions"></span><span class="entry-content">Liberals believe it's their God-given right to govern, so don't poke fun at them unless ur ready for face time with Human Rights Commission</span> </span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-25083218001297023492009-12-13T05:42:00.000-08:002009-12-13T05:43:03.668-08:00Hardcore curlingReaders aren't interested, but it's your duty to report on curling. Sex it up with double entendres about rocks and exclamations of rigidityNot Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-12934835189822958492009-12-13T05:07:00.001-08:002009-12-13T05:07:56.939-08:00Cold enough for ya?<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Not everyone realizes how cold it gets here. Be sure to highlight each temperature drop with John Q's thoughts on how his nuts are affected</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-22669159989085641122009-12-13T05:06:00.000-08:002009-12-13T05:07:30.832-08:00World Trade what?<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">In decade-in-review stories, avoid alienating youth and feeble-minded by using recent events: i.e. biggest event not 9/11, but Tiger Woods</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-63152590346966668022009-12-13T04:04:00.001-08:002009-12-13T04:04:38.007-08:00If it's not green, don't be mean<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">The global warming crowd promised perpetually green Christmases from here on out, so don't embarrass them if there's snow on the ground</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-56705292415667173112009-12-13T04:03:00.001-08:002009-12-13T04:03:56.517-08:00Some things are too good to ignore<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">If you can fit "obedient puppet media" into your story, you owe it to your readers to do so.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-22333860019192912352009-12-13T04:02:00.000-08:002009-12-13T04:03:33.932-08:00Fake outrage<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">When Al-Qaeda acts all outraged about being blamed for a terrorist attack it says it did not commit, it's ok use LOL in the lede.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-11101779316513320262009-12-13T04:01:00.002-08:002009-12-13T04:02:27.517-08:00Snow flakes<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">When there's an unusual amount of snow and roads are closed, write as though it's the first time. Readers don't want u to spoil the illusion</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-65470633794102678812009-12-13T04:01:00.001-08:002009-12-13T04:01:36.045-08:00Sometimes you need volume more than facts<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">To avoid complaints from shrill Lefties, be more concerned with volume than facts. For each person supporting the Right, find five against</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-84672513913079361592009-12-13T04:00:00.002-08:002009-12-13T04:01:03.496-08:00Snow need to fear<span class="status-body"> <span class="actions"></span><span class="entry-content">It's important to maintain a constant level of snow fear. If one storm is over, be sure to add "but another one is on the way."</span> </span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-61515861562853772632009-12-13T04:00:00.001-08:002009-12-13T04:00:27.783-08:00Easy on the left<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Don't point out overzealousness of the left (Obama peace prize). When necessary, bring focus back to those "war mongering evil Republicans"</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-54409424989988916772009-12-13T03:59:00.004-08:002009-12-13T04:00:07.675-08:00Pretend puncuation<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">No one knows how to use a semi-colon. Don't pretend you do. Be honest, you couldn't have two thoughts at once anyway.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-15500194075252978042009-12-13T03:59:00.003-08:002009-12-13T03:59:37.292-08:00Don't be a putz<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">It's December. It's Canada. It snows. If you are even considering a first-snow-of-the-year story, you will be nominated for a putzer prize</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-14927584444401690572009-12-13T03:59:00.001-08:002009-12-13T03:59:19.797-08:00A good excuse for a story<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Don't let mere cuts and bruises keep you from overblowing an insignificant story. If a celeb is in a fender bender, make the most of it.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-89579354195374118412009-12-13T03:58:00.005-08:002009-12-13T03:58:59.862-08:00Photographers: Take advantage of the law<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Whenever you are stuck for a wild art photo idea, remember in Ontario it's legal to walk down the street topless.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-84448682331582316022009-12-13T03:58:00.003-08:002009-12-13T03:58:29.238-08:00No, it's not your Thanksgiving<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Staff? ... staff? ... Fuckers are trying to pull that "I thought it was our Thanksgiving" trick again.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-51431966057828118002009-12-13T03:58:00.001-08:002009-12-13T03:58:10.074-08:00Take pride in your story<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">When you have an exclusive story, it's ok to conclude with a line for your competitors, i.e. Take that, bitches.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-5444675353951988032009-12-13T03:57:00.003-08:002009-12-13T03:57:54.696-08:00Don't perpetuate a lie<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">When someone says 'You'll save in the long run,' be sure to translate to 'This is one more thing that will screw you'</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-70126744524226177772009-12-13T03:57:00.001-08:002009-12-13T03:57:21.557-08:00Call The Simpsons<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">If your stylebook still has Ottoman Empire, Siam, Kampuchea, Transjordan, Ceylon, New Spain or The Trucial States, sell it to Matt Groening.</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-55453527070263321232009-12-13T03:56:00.000-08:002009-12-13T03:57:02.411-08:00Stateside slang<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">When referring to the U.S., please use sparingly: The warmer Canada; our fun uncle; Hollywood South; NASCAR-lovin fake breastsville</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127784297971120405.post-53098644239596658372009-12-13T03:55:00.000-08:002009-12-13T03:56:21.710-08:00Everything old will be new again<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Little known fact: just like flapper dresses, disco and mullets, your old stylebook will one day be current again</span></span>Not Patti Taskohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17005289949760030999noreply@blogger.com0