Stick with the classics

Whenever stuck for a lede, try "They say…", "On the one hand…" or "(Blank) is the new (blank)." The classics never go out of style.

There's no I in computer

Don't be afraid to throw in first-person pronouns and comments. It eases readers' fears that computers are cranking out the stories.

Give a brother an icon?

Dear Santa: we would love to get rid of this generic Twitter icon. Can you help?

No snow until winter

In early weather stories, always mention how many days away winter is. It reminds Mother Nature about what is acceptable in each season

God love the Liberals

Liberals believe it's their God-given right to govern, so don't poke fun at them unless ur ready for face time with Human Rights Commission

Hardcore curling

Readers aren't interested, but it's your duty to report on curling. Sex it up with double entendres about rocks and exclamations of rigidity

Cold enough for ya?

Not everyone realizes how cold it gets here. Be sure to highlight each temperature drop with John Q's thoughts on how his nuts are affected